Kamil's 13 Circles

First off, I want to say-- Happy Birthday Matt! You're... 17now? ._. woah that's awkward; not yet there my friend... STILL happy birthday :3 Huzah to you~

All right, down to business, new school year, new "adventure" to document down and it is going to be quite interesting.

Apparently there are those who were not aware that I was on a "vacation" to the east to visit some of my relatives for a family re-union. I'll be blunt, it wasn't pleasant. And I've decided to be creative about my little story by modeling it after the famous poem of 'Dante's Inferno' - better known as the the 13 circles of hell... you don't know it?... go read a book!! Really, a good piece of literature. Probably what Devil May Cry is based of... hm? Hm?!!?

Anyways~

I. Depart from Comfort, Hell is aware.

Twas a Tuesday in the month of 7... wait... 9?!... sept is 7 in french and... crap!! Fine... NINE... In the month of nine...my innocence was ruptured of news from my mother of a trip to come to be, a trip to the East, for many years I have dreaded the events of traveling there with the "so called" ambitions of re-acquainting myself with distant relatives. First came my resistance, of course I didn't want to go, there was nothing there. Nadda--

O' that is anything that I cared about. I didn't want to be part of something faux and excruciating to be a natural occurrence for me, meaning, I didn't want to be around people who did not understand what I have become. Ok- fine, I began'th packing my bags and for some unfathomable reason I couldn't get that right... accord'th to my mother, my underwear wasn't where it needed to be, the colors of my clothes didn't match (Black doesn't match with black?!) but sure enough, I got it done to her liking... sadly it wasn't enough.

II. Forwth my valiant stead!

We wake up in the brink of morning to travel to the airport, and I am keeping my mouth shut and pretty much "promising" I won't be a total black sheep on the entire trip. We make it to the car holding area and we depart from the parking lot. It would seem that my mother wants me to eat a lot of "perishables" that we have brought with us... I ... hate... olives...

III. The chasm has teeth?!

Crap on a crust! Shampoos are illegal to carry in quantities over 3 ounces?! Great- a tongue lashing from my mother. That was the longest 20 minutes I have ever had in an airport that did not involve waiting... well I waited for her to stop talking but you know what I mean, c'mon! Like I was supposed to know that the would happen-- wait! Why do they do that anyways?! That makes no sense... UGH... still, I didn't need that at all.

IV. Into the mouth of hell we march!!

I've arrived... at 2 am... in the muggy weather of Raleigh, North Carolina... FUCK I hate humidity with a passion, I mean there is nothing worse than that, I can deal with heat, I can deal with cold (I love the cold) but if I am at near point of sweating in the morning... uh-uh hell no! We move to pick up a car and my folks get a little too dramatic about picking up a car so we could all fit not only our luggage but ourselves being that we are all at least 5'8 and we don't want out knees scrapping against the back of another seat, I don't blame them but still... overkill...

We then make it to our hotel- woo! ... well not so much... My mom left that fucking AC on... and ugh... that sucked like no other, and there were two beds... I won't go into anymore detail than that. The hotel had something funny in its title, micro-something; and they gave us breakfast... well- so much a mini box of cereal, a 1/2 quart of milk in a carton, and our choice of a bagel or banana... how lush... I ... just... What suck-itude!

V. If it bleeds, its probably me doing so...

Onto Myrtle Beach... great- the ride down there was painful enough, listening to jazz music and my brother and father making crap jokes- you know they saw the joke on television just one time and replay the shit out of it, we get down there and first thing we do, throw our luggage into the car and go to the beach right?! ... wrong. I am not going in that cold water and "splash around" with people who shouldn't have a right to wear a bathing suit... ugh, I just stayed in the hotel room and watched National Geographic... I like that channel a lot :3

Then about 2 hours later my folks walk into the room, of course- they made a quick masturbation joke... (no, I didn't... its bad enough we're in a hotel, don't creep me out that much!) and guess what! My dad got stung by two jelly fish :3 in both of his legs!! HA!

Well, I am going to cut this one short, I am finding this to be not as creative as I had hoped, HOWEVER, I will finished the rest of my circles of hell, tomorrow.

But I would like to mention, Happy Birthday, Matt!! And sorry I didn't call :( but yeah-- Rammestein!